Some Of The Funniest Sh!t My Bookie Says

Everybody has a “go-to” person they rely on in times of need and counsel.  My special guy is my online sports betting bookmaker.  Sometimes he can be a cranky bastard, but I guess I’d be pissed off all the time too if I had to deal with a bunch of degenerate gamblers all the time.

Some days he’s my best friend and some days he’s the biggest a$$hole on the planet.  But no matter what I know I can always count on him to say some of the funniest sh!t I’ve ever heard in my entire life.  I don’t know where I would be without my bookie, probably penniless, humorless and broke as sh!t.

Here’s just a taste of some of the Funniest Sh!t my Bookie says:

• Sure, public money is on the Cowboys every week. That’s because the public is retarded.

• It’s all fun and games until someone loses their legs…

• I don’t care what the newspaper says.  If you want that line, call the newspaper and get them to take your bet!

• You want a teaser? This isn’t Madam Wong’s whore house of delights; you will take the spread I give you.

• Sorry about your grandmother, but you still owe me.

• If you know so much then why are you calling me for a free pick?

• It’s not whether you win or lose. It’s how you cover the spread.

• I know where your kids go to school.

• The less you bet the more you lose when you win.

• Sh!t Happens!