Whatever happened to the classic board game Monopoly? There was a time when success was measured by the height of your cash stack. Now, the winner depends on credit score.
The original game is still out there. Somewhere. It’s probably squished between The Avengers version and Bible-opoly. I don’t want to sound jaded, but this game has been around the block. With all of the spin-offs, it has passed GO so many times that nothing is sacred anymore.
I suppose that’s to be expected from the most capitalistic board game on the market.
Monopoly’s most recent change saw the game boot the boot, wheel out the wheelbarrow, and give thumbs down to the thimble. Sacrilegious fans voted to replace the longstanding playing pieces with a dinosaur, a duck, and a penguin.
Sure, you may not like the thimble, but please tell me how a t-rex, a penguin, or a rubber duck is any more relevant? This is just change for the sake of change.
So what’s next? What else are these intolerant millennials going to alter about the classic game?
I reach into my community chest to predict what’s coming down the railroad for the once great board game and give the odds on what the future holds for Park Place.
If it were up to me, I’d go back to all the original game pieces, but add a little old man. When you land on one of my properties, it yells, “Get off my lawn!”
Monopoly Game Piece Odds
Odds on the next game piece to be removed from Monopoly
- Battleship: 2/1
- Cat: 3/1
- Racecar: 3/1
- Hat: 9/1
- Scottish Terrier: 15/1
For whatever reason, the battleship was almost replaced this go-around. Who doesn’t want a freakin’ battleship on the board? Maybe this is wishful thinking, but our obsession with cats has to be a fad, right?
Odds on the next game piece to be added to Monopoly
- Tortoise: 4/1
- Cellphone: 17/3
- Computer: 17/3
- Flip-flop: 9/1
- Private jet: 20/1
- Rabbit: 20/1
- Surfboard: 25/1
- Television: 25/1
- Monster truck: 50/1
- Motorcycle: 50/1
- Sunglasses: 50/1
- Sneaker: 100/1
- Helicopter: 100/1
- Beach ball: 100/1
- Speed boat: 150/1
- Bicycle: 150/1
- Scooter: 150/1
- Mr. Monopoly emoji: 200/1
- Hashtag: 200/1
Monopoly Rule-Change Odds
Most people ignore the proper rules of Monopoly, instead adhering to their own “house rules,” which are usually skewed to allow for cheating. How many family game nights have been ruined when Dad the Banker seems to have extra cash on hand? But there are some commonly accepted rules that are actually not in the rule book. For instance, landing on Free Parking doesn’t mean you won the lottery! Yet everyone seems to think that, when you land there, you get all the money in the middle.
If Hasbro is going to spend time changing up the tokens, it’s time they start changing some of the codified rules, too.
Odds the following rules are added/changed
Proper costs for (un)mortgaging and selling houses are added: 4/1
More ways to borrow money are added: 17/3
Players can put more than one hotel on a property: 9/1
Players bid for starting order: 9/1
Players cannot purchase property on first trip around the board: 15/1
Rent on properties with no buildings is increased: 25/1
A player who owns all railroads can build on them: 50/1
Utility costs are raised: 50/1
The amount of money you start with is reduced from $1,500 to $750: 75/1
The dollar amount for passing GO is reduced from $200: 75/1
Players can build bridges that go from one hotel to another: 100/1
Players are burdened with crippling school debt at the outset of each game: 150/1
Free Parking is renamed Free Handout: 200/1