- President Trump lashed out at Joe Biden, saying he could beat him in a fight
- Online betting sites are actually taking wagers on the potential political bout
- Does Trump’s huge size advantage make him the favorite?
Donald Trump likes to tweet early in the morning and although that usually goes terribly wrong for him, one of his most recent 3:00 a.m. 280-word diatribes got fight fans excited.
No, he didn’t say he was going to take part in another hair vs. hair WWE match, nor did he purchase a fledgling MMA organization. Instead, he called out former US Vice President Joe Biden to meet him at the bike rack after school.
Crazy Joe Biden is trying to act like a tough guy. Actually, he is weak, both mentally and physically, and yet he threatens me, for the second time, with physical assault. He doesn’t know me, but he would go down fast and hard, crying all the way. Don’t threaten people Joe!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 22, 2018
Trump was responding to some comments that Biden made at a rally that week. “A guy who ended up becoming our national leader said, ‘I can grab a woman anywhere and she likes it. If we were in high school, I’d take him behind the gym and beat the hell out of him,” said Biden.
Fight! Fight! Fight! We can hear the chants now. Who wouldn’t want to see two old guys slug it out?
Online betting sites now have odds on the possible matchup.
Donald Trump (0-0) vs. Joe Biden (0-0)
Sportsbooks include the stipulation that the fight must be for charity and take place in 2018, but a fight is still a fight, and if you think Donald Trump wouldn’t get into the ring because it’s not “presidential,” you clearly haven’t been paying attention.
First, it’s important to know where this fight would take place. The Trump International Hotel in Las Vegas seems the obvious choice. You know Trump would want his own personal business ventures to get something out of it, amirite?
We expect the judges to be Alexander Kuznetsov, Viktor Popov, and the always reliable Vitaly Mikhailov. Nothing to see here. Everything is normal.
Both men are well into their 70s, but each has some background in athletics. Trump played baseball in high school and remains a “fairly active golfer.” He’s also spent some time running … from questions, facts, the draft, and lawsuits. So it’s clear he may have something left in the gas tank.
According to Trump’s personal doctor, the President is 6’3, 239 pounds, and has “incredible genes.” We’re not saying he’s lying, but it did spawn an online #Girther movement.
— Dennis Perkins (@DennisPerkins5) January 16, 2018
Trump also brings a professional wrestling background to this match. At Wrestlemania 23 he took WWE’s Vince McMahon to the ground and threw some short rabbit punches on the Chairman. Although the takedown was sloppy, he was able to use a solid looking clothesline to unleash some vicious ground and pound. Yes, the fight we are currently breaking down is a boxing match, but since when does Trump ever follow the rules?
Joe Biden, on the other hand, comes in at a lean 6’0 and 215 pounds. He has a background in both baseball and football, where he was known to be one hell of a halfback at the prestigious Archmere Academy. Unfortunately, a knee injury stopped him from turning pro. Biden looks like he can probably move around well enough, and based on his comments that sparked this bout, he’s able to work a jab from the outside.
Right now, oddsmakers have Trump as the slight favorite. He’s definitely willing to fight dirty and has the size advantage, except for maybe smaller hands.
We expect the two men to trade some initial blows, but Trump isn’t big on trade, so he may just settle for a counter tweet or two. Biden will have to avoid getting into a brawl and just work the angles, move in and out of the pocket and try to get the fight into the deep waters of the first minute.
When the first minute of the first round passes, Trump should start to tire out, maybe fall over once or twice hoping to survive the round. Once he’s back in his corner and has a sip of Diet Coke, he’ll probably try and fake news an injury. This is where an impartial ref will need to make sure it’s legit. It’ll be difficult as his coaches will claim he’s too hurt to continue, but the ref must dig deep and find the truth.
If the fight somehow does get into the second round, we don’t expect Trump to survive Biden’s slick boxing game where eventually the former Vice President should be able to knock the current President out. Mind you, based on history, Democrats that have gone up against Trump have struggled to knock him out. Hi Hillary!
After the fight, Trump will fire his corner and claim he won the fight even after all the reviews show him clearly not winning.
But who cares about the result because this mega fight will do huge ratings, everyone will love it and it will just be spectacular. Complete sellout too.
Joe Biden Donald Trump. (Sorry but we have a few people working in this office who value where they live and their current lifestyle.)
God Bless America.