Who Bit Beyonce? Odds and Predictions on the Mystery Biter

• Tiffany Haddish recently revealed that an unnamed actress bit Beyoncé on the face last December.
• According to Haddish, the event took place at an after-party for Jay-Z’s 4:44 tour.
• Who was the culprit? Sanaa Lathan, Scarlett Johansson, and Queen Latifah are among the favorites.

A question we never dreamed would need asking has suddenly become the one question we will not rest until we get an answer for:

Who bit Beyoncé?

Last December, actress and comedian Tiffany Haddish was in attendance at an after-party during Jay-Z’s 4:44 tour. She had just enjoyed meeting Beyoncé for the first time — a memorable event of its own accord — when an unidentified actress, who had been “doing the mostest” all night, took things to a whole new level, biting Ms. Knowles-Carter “in the face.”

In an interview with GQ released this weekend, the Girls’ Trip star explained how she watched Beyoncé “[storm] away” at one point during the party, taking Jay-Z to a back corner of the room. The briskness left Haddish puzzled, that is, until a member of Beyoncé’s came up to her and asked, “Can you believe this b**** just bit Beyoncé?”

After that, “a lot of things happened,” including a near fight with our mystery actress after she told Haddish to stop dancing.

When Haddish told Beyoncé that the actress was about to get her “ass beat,” Bey intervened again — this time assuring her that she is “not like that all the time.”

It was, in fact, Queen B herself who averted a (further) physical altercation, calming Haddish down by taking a selfie with her.

It’s not unusual for Bey and Jay’s lives to be shrouded in a bit of mystery; we all know we need an NDA to party with the Queen. But this one has gotten under our skin. The past two days have been one long process of elimination, thanks to the world wide web. Some online betting sites have even chimed in, giving their top picks for whodunnit.

Now it’s our turn.

Who bit Beyoncé?

Here are the facts that we have. Beyoncé is close enough to the biter to know that she is not normally a face-muncher. Model Chrissy Teigen “loves” both parties involved, and it was not the person Teigan initially assumed! We also know that several actresses — Jennifer Lawrence, Lena Dunham and Shirley Maclean, to name a few — have had their names cleared, thanks to publicists and Twitter. However, there are many, many more who have made no comment or actually stated, “No comment.” (Really, Queen  Latifah?) Don’t expect Bey to clear any of this up for us. She’s notoriously tight-lipped and demands the same from her friends.

Sanaa Lathan has said “if” she did it, it would only have been a love bite. And supposedly the biter has been linked to rapper French Montana, whom Lathan has been rumored to date. We may never know for sure who bit Beyoncé, but Lathan is at the top of our list.

Who will be bitten next?

Now that Beyoncé has been bitten, all bets are off. We’ve officially stepped through to the other side, and all that remains is anarchy. Are no faces safe? Who will be bitten next?

Haddish herself is our front-runner here. As the whistle-blower, she may have just placed a target on her own back (make that front). Same goes for Teigen, whose tweets gave us some more meat to chew on.

Is it all a hoax?

Odds this story is a publicity stunt for a surprise Beyonce album: 7/1

Now, now. The bite itself happened. But the story dropping? Yeah, there is a chance that this was orchestrated by the same mastermind who dropped “Beyoncé” on us overnight. The Queen’s team know how to get people talking, no doubt about it. And hey, the Carter-Knowles family just announced its upcoming On The Run II tour.

It may just be some very wishful thinking on our part, but we should not underestimate the plans Ms. Carter-Knowles has for us. She’s stopped the world once or twice before, and is nowhere near done yet.