Jay Cutler Odds: Another QB Headed for TV?

When you saw the dour mug of Jay Cutler stewing on the sidelines during Bears games, did you immediately think to yourself, “Man, I want to hear what that guy has to say”?

No, neither did I, because I didn’t want to be violently thrust into a deep, turnover-prone depression.

But, for at least an afternoon, someone at Fox thought that broadcasting the inner workings of Cutler’s mind to an entire nation might be a good idea. Today, ESPN reported that Fox flew the erstwhile Bear to LA to audition for a color-commentary role (specifically, the one vacated by new 49er GM John Lynch).

Is it just me, or does that feel like a panicked reaction to CBS scooping up Tony Romo? Kind of like Microsoft answering the iPod with the Zune.

Luckily, saner heads seem to have prevailed and Cutler didn’t get the gig. At least not yet. But he still hasn’t landed another NFL job and, according to that ESPN story, is leaning towards retirement.

The Jets and 49ers don’t have a starting-caliber QB on their rosters, so fans of costly interceptions could still be in luck.

How do I see the future playing out for the man from Santa Claus?

Odds on Jay Cutler’s Future

Odds Cutler retires from the NFL before the 2017 season: 3/2

Odds Cutler ever becomes a TV commentator: 4/5

I can remember being in an elevator when I was about five and seeing that bright red alarm button. I wasn’t sure what would happen if I pushed it, but I knew it wouldn’t be good. I pushed it anyway. I was too damn curious. You see where I’m going with this?

If Cutler is on an NFL roster in Week 1, 2017, odds it’s with the…

• Arizona Cardinals: 9/2 
  
• New York Jets: 9/2
• San Francisco 49ers: 6/1
• Jacksonville Jaguars: 8/1
• Chicago Bears: 99/1
• FIELD: 5/3

The Cardinals have a roster capable of competing for the Lombardi Trophy if they get decent QB play. Carson Palmer didn’t really provide that last year, and he’s now 37 years old. Cutty would be a good insurance policy if he’s willing to accept a backup role.

If not, the Jets could be the spot. No one’s saying Cutler is an elite option. But he’s an upgrade on Josh McCown. Same goes for Brian Hoyer in San Francisco. (Congrats, Jay! You’re better than Browns castoffs!) Of course, there’s a serious question whether those rebuilding franchises actually want to win games this year, given the stellar QB class in the 2018 draft.

If Mike Glennon or Mitch Trubisky get injured in camp, could the Bears bring back Cutler? He already knows the offense. That might be more of a problem than a solution, though.

Odds on Cutler’s next (paying) job

• NFL quarterback: 1/1
• TV commentator: 2/1
• Actor: 19/1
• Vanderbilt QB coach: 100/1
• Marlboro model: 100/1
• Underwear model: 300/1
• Chicago Bears’ customer service representative: 5000/1

Cutler has the looks to be an actor and the connections to break into Hollywood via wife Kristin Cavallari. I’m not sold on his thespianism from his cameo on The League, though.

You don’t actually have to be a smoker to be a cigarette model. But, to be an underwear model, you do have to wear underwear.