Odds and Ends – The Next 8 Sports Fashion Trends

It was recently pointed out by those that actually know fashion that Chicago Bulls jerseys have become all the rage, not as a symbol of fandom, but rather as a sign of impeccable style. The “classic streetwear look” is another case of fashion’s rich history of taking things that used to be cool and making them cool again. (That’s why I’ve never thrown out my moon shoes, despite the near-certainty that they will one day shatter my ankles.)

But this is great news for sports fans! While it is mostly Michael Jordan and Derrick Rose jerseys out and about, there is no reason you can’t dust off that ill-advised Donyell Marshall or Brian Scalabrine jersey you bought and be the coolest person in the office!

With a hope that this is just the beginning, here are our odds on other sports looks poised to take the fashion world by storm.

1. Barrel pants (12/1): Popularized by Broncos fan Tim McKernan, barrel pants can provide a nice breeze for your downstairs, but are clothes enough to keep you out of jail.
2. The Jockstrap (20/1): Making a “Cameo” on the list is the look that somehow never caught on when the soul group was first popular in the 80s. Along with style, the jockstrap provides protection in a world that can get a little nuts.
3. Rip Hamilton mask (35/1): Jerseys aren’t the only cool thing about the NBA. Clear plastic face protectors have been sported in the past by Kobe, Lebron, and, most recently, Russell Westbrook; you could be next! The mask says to the world “I have a moneymaker worth protecting.” The transparency of the mask may belie your claim, though.
4. Bubble Suits (40/1): Taking the protection look to a whole new level, the popular bubble soccer suits are form fitting, so no one can tell you haven’t gone running in five years. Combine with the Rip Hamilton mask to become more plastic than person!

   

5. Goldusting (1,999/1): Obscured by gold and black paint and full body leather, the sexually ambiguous look of WWE star Goldust would make life feel like you were living in a Marilyn Manson video. And isn’t that what we all really want?
6. The NASCAR Driver (2,500/1): This look would not only be fly-as-hell, but generate revenue for the wearer. You would wear a simple outfit and sell off space to advertisers, charging extra for the places people look the most (face and ass, of course!) Would it be too much to combine this with the jockstrap trend? I, for one, have ample real estate to sell down there.
7. Horse Blinders (13,456/1): Horses are athletes too, but for some reason we don’t try to emulate them by wearing saddles or pooping in the middle of parades. Wearing horse blinders would be a small token of support and stop you from getting distracted by your useless peripheral vision.
8. Anything Dennis Rodman has ever done (1,000,000/1): If people want to truly jump on the Chicago nostalgia bandwagon, emulate one of Rodman’s old looks; be it dying your hair seven different colours, treating your face like a pincushion, that whole thing with the wedding dress, or whatever this was.

(Featured photo credit: Heidelberg Belts (Sears catalogue) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.)