Some Of The Funniest Sh!t My Bookie Says

Everybody has a “go-to” person they rely on in times of need and counsel.  My special guy is my online sports betting bookmaker.  Sometimes he can be a cranky bastard, but I guess I’d be pissed off all the time too if I had to deal with a bunch of degenerate gamblers all the time.

Some days he’s my best friend and some days he’s the biggest a$$hole on the planet.  But no matter what I know I can always count on him to say some of the funniest sh!t I’ve ever heard in my entire life.  I don’t know where I would be without my bookie, probably penniless, humorless and broke as sh!t.

Here’s just a taste of some of the Funniest Sh!t my Bookie says:

  • Sure, public money is on the Cowboys every week. That’s because the public is retarded.
  • It’s all fun and games until someone loses their legs…
  • I don’t care what the newspaper says.  If you want that line, call the newspaper and get them to take your bet!
  • You want a teaser? This isn’t Madam Wong’s whore house of delights; you will take the spread I give you.
  • Sorry about your grandmother, but you still owe me.
  • If you know so much then why are you calling me for a free pick?
  • It’s not whether you win or lose. It’s how you cover the spread.
  • I know where your kids go to school.
  • The less you bet the more you lose when you win.
  • Sh!t Happens!
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Let's have fun and keep it civil.